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Bitter Waters to Rainbow Skies

Katie Richardson

Our doctor was very quick to tell us we’d be able to try and have another child if we chose to, validating that you (Emma) will never be replaced, but acknowledging that we had wanted to expand our family. We were unsure of when we would explore this and knew we wanted to be in a good place. Through continued counseling, love, and support we decided we didn’t want to wait and welcomed what ever our future held. We have been blessed with another girl and although it is and will continue to be a scary journey (that seems to be flying by), we are cautiously optimistic. Emma, you gave life to this baby… to your little sister. You were planned to be our last. Not only did you give life through your donation but you’ve given life to this child.

We had decided we wanted to be more private with this pregnancy. This is our journey and not sharing with social media is ok. People are finding out the old fashioned way just when they see me. I realize by not writing about it though, I’m leaving out a big part of my struggles and pain and excitement. That is why I’m sharing here.


I want to be excited but I’m scared. The doctor reassures me that everything that happened was a freak accident, that it shouldn’t have happened, that shit happens, and it’s not going to happen again, and that I’m healthy and low risk and can have whatever type of birth I choose… it’s great hearing all of that, but until your sister is here, safe, healthy, happy and in our arms, that worry will creep in. I was doing well but have hit a point in this pregnancy now that I’m worried. I miss you so much and the emotions and tears have been uncontrollable lately.

It’s so strange to feel like this was you and now it’s your sister and you are in heaven, it just seems so crazy. I often have dejavu moments. They make me happy and sad at the same time. I want to be excited to meet your sister and I am, but I also know that nothing in life is guaranteed. I’m not sure how we will navigate the emotions of a new baby and soon after, your first birthday. But like always, with your dad and sisters by my side, I know we will get through it. I want to remember you and honor you in every way that I can. I love you so much Emma 💜


Loving you always and forever,

Mommy


- Anonymous


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